now literally prepare spreadsheets of shared responsibilities.
Everyone pitches in to help with cooking, cleaning, arranging
outings, and all of the details surrounding such gatherings. My
husband and I do not have to carry so much of the physical
burden around the logistics of our family get togethers. I can
ask for help when I need it. Special connections are formed
and solidified among various family members as we work,
cook, and clean side by side.
In other words, my family mirrored my emotions and
needs. They SAW me. I could only receive this gift after I
began to deeply know that I was worthy of such support. When
I began to speak up and ask for what I wanted, they began
paying attention to my own unique needs and then meeting
them. This began within the wife/husband relationship and
then extended out into our family.
When I was no longer in a place of feeling ignored,
inadequate, or overwhelmed, I was in a healthier position to be
a parent to my daughters who desperately needed me to be
fully present for them. When I finally faced my attachment
needs, I was able to love my family freely without reservation.
The healthier I got, the healthier were those around me.
After a great deal of hard work and intention, I now
experience secure attachments with my husband as well as my
children. I feel both worthy of love as well as capable of
receiving the support and love that I need. I trust that those
that I am in intimate relationship with are willing and able to
love and help me. This has required a large mind and heart
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