transition that has happened over many years and with a great
deal of support and mindfulness. My attachment challenges
have been transformed. Because of this particular
transformation, I am now able to truly experience the
abundant life that I heard so much about in my religious
tradition. I now realize the gift of true freedom.
One autumn, on a beautiful, sunny, North Carolina
day, I sat on the front porch with my friend Donna. Somehow,
the conversation made its way around to the topic of
attachment and the family systems we had each experienced. I
paraphrase Donna’s words on that day: “If I admit that I have
challenges in developing trust and making emotional
connections in my most important relationships, then I am
admitting that there is something fundamentally deficient
about me.” Her words haunted and challenged me as they
pinged back and forth between heart and head. I took this
exchange to my therapist, and her wise response was, “To
know our deficiencies is incredibly freeing.” Jesus said it this
way, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you
I have experienced the truth of this wisdom. As I faced
my own deficiencies in the area of attachment, it was a first
step on a pathway toward emotional healing. As long as I lived
in a place of denial, I mindlessly lived and related to others
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