attached to who can mirror their feelings. We as parents need
to be present in the midst of difficult emotions and learn to
tolerate our own discomfort as we work to guide and support.
As I became more mindful of such things, the opportunities to
respond to my children from a place of healthy attachment
continued to roll out before me.
Though I, as a mom, often feel pressure to be the fixer
of all things problematic for my children, it is much healthier
if I can take on the role of a reflector. When the temptation to
jump in and save my kids from all hardship arises, there is also
an invitation to walk alongside and serve as a support and a
At one point, one of our daughters was over thinking
and really struggling to do a task that was important for her to
accomplish. Something that typically takes about one to two
minutes to do was literally taking hours because of debilitating
anxiety. Walking through this experience together took an
emotional toll on her and me. But in reality, this was fertile
ground for me to sit still in an uncomfortable place and learn
to tolerate both my own and her emotions through this
process. It was also instructive for a child who tends to stuff
and deny feelings to practice expressing them.
I am learning that the more mindful and honest that I
am about my feelings, the more I can give the same gift to my
children. When I rush to reassure my child when he is in
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