Angelou who said, “Do the best you can until you know better.
Then when you know better, do better.” Certainly, pieces of
my own emotional challenges passed onto my sons in one
form or another. I am not able to go back and re-parent them.
But I do have the opportunity to own my part in this area and
move forward in the light of such knowledge. The way forward
with each of my sons has looked different and unique to each
mother-son relationship.
Shortly after I read the paradigm shifting “What Am I
Feeling?” book, I ordered three copies with the intent to share
them with my boys if and when they became fathers. Recently,
through conversation and contemplation, I decided to go
ahead and address head-on my own deficiencies as their
mother by sending them a package. This package contained a
heartfelt letter expressing my feelings toward them, my
personal challenges as a mom, and my hope that they will make
different choices if they choose to parent. Now it is up to them.
A few summers ago, when my older daughter was
between the sixth and seventh grades, we had about five days
together in our home. Mark and our youngest child traveled to
visit family in Chicago. I invited my girl to read the “daughter
half” of the book “Mothering and Daughtering: Keeping Your
Bond Strong Through the Teenage Years” by Eliza and Sil
Reynolds. This child is an introvert, loves to read, and delights
in quiet time alone. She is a quiet soul whose voice often gets
drowned out by those around her. Though I offered that we
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