love.” My children will walk paths and make decisions that
displease or deeply concern me. The less I try to control that
and the more that I can acknowledge the fear and make wide
the space inside of me for love and grace, the more effectively
I can be a mirror to them as they figure it all out. When the
fear and attempts to control are at bay, there is much more
room for joy and delight as we live life as family.
When we adopted our first daughter, our sons were a
senior and freshman in high school and a seventh grader smack
in the center of middle school. For a variety of reasons, we
always knew that we would prefer to adopt two children. There
was solid parental and family discussion and reasoning behind
this decision. But we were in quite a hurry. A mere thirteen
months later, we added a second daughter to our family. I have
absolutely no regrets that this spunky and incredible girl
entered our family. Our family needed this self-proclaimed
“grand finale.” We love her dearly. She has changed each one
of us for the better.
Yet, there was a price paid by our sons. They navigated
critical years without parents who had the time and energy to
regularly coach and come alongside. This was especially true
for our youngest son. During these days, a friend close to this
son said to me, “I think he feels ignored and is struggling since
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