As I prepared for our move, sorting through keepsakes
and memorabilia with each of our three sons was bittersweet.
What was of value to them at the end of high school and
college had shifted. It was poignant to walk alongside as each
son decided what he wanted to take forward and what could
fall aside. Their own memories and choices often trumped my
opinions on the matter. Only on rare occasions did I say, “I
think you might want to have that one day” and slip it into a
keepsake box.
Their particular choices didn’t always align with mine.
Some of the things they chose to carry forward did not include
me in the story. Each one had drama roles, team participation,
or reminiscences with friends that were special to them but
happened without mom by their side. They are three individual
young men who have chosen their own paths. That was the
goal, yet the deep realization of this place in time can
sometimes bring me to tears.
When I was twenty-nine years old and expecting our
third child, life seemed as if it would go on almost forever. Yet,
it passed so quickly. Sometimes I feel nostalgic and long for
earlier days, yet at the same time I feel excited and hopeful
about the possibilities of living life in a new space. Realizing
that I almost for sure have less days left on this earth than I
have already lived helps bring focus to life. Well beyond the
material choices of what to take and what to leave behind are
the bigger issues of how I want to live life. What do I take along
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