living as the dead. For me, it has taken time and intention to
discover that which fills my soul.
As a younger person, most of my time and energy was
consumed with being mom, keeping a household running, and
being volunteer extraordinaire. In hindsight, it is easy to
identify personal needs that were met in this action packed
role, but they had nothing to do with soul filling. Achievement
desires, anxiety management, feelings of obligation, and a
desire to be important and make a difference were among the
reasons that I poured so much of myself into these
And though some of the above goals were realized, my
soul was not satisfied. For the most part, I do not regret the
time and energy spent there, because it was an important leg of
a journey. Learning what is life sucking rather than life giving
is critical to begin the shift toward true peace and joy.
I recently received a gift: the realization that after much
hard work, I am well on my way to discovering the specific
things that fill my soul. It was at the end of a week away with
part of our family. Time together was soul filling, to a point.
After a little too much together time and the realization that
the next two days would include times with four people in a
small, intimate hotel room, I realized that I needed to figure
out a way to recharge. As the rest of the family headed to a
football game, I asked myself, “what can I do to fill my soul?”
for the next six hours.
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