are…” My expertise was in seeing the messiness in others while
putting up blinders to it within my own self and family. My
work of becoming fully human was still in an early stage. But
the reality was that at home there were behavioral challenges
and escalating situations that were totally out of my parental
control. I needed help.
During this time I was still battling the inner voices in
support of the formulaic conservative Christian parenting
methods I had practiced with our sons. I needed courage to go
against methods that had been presented as “God’s true way.”
I had no clue as to a healthy way forward. My false facade of
self sufficiency in the role of mom added to my reluctance to
join up with other struggling moms. Pride and arrogance with
a heavy dose of denial kept me isolated as I bought a lie that I
could and should do this all by myself. As I continued to
attempt to pick up the pieces after my back surgeries, a first
step was to acknowledge that my former ways had obviously
led to a level of destruction both in my physical body and my
family. My heart and mind continued to crack open.
After finally admitting that my mom skills needed an
overhaul, I decided to give this group of moms a try. It couldn’t
hurt… As both a support group and a place to learn new ways
of parenting together, this gathering became foundational for
a great deal of future change within me. Each group member
had bought into the conservative Christian parenting paradigm
on some level and was living day by day the painful limits of
such an approach. As adoptive moms, we were all in over our
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