I married quite young for a college educated woman.
Exactly two months post-graduation and at the age of 21, I
walked down the aisle. The man I fell in love with is an
ambitious man. Psychologists say that we often marry those
that feel like “home,” and this was my comfortable dwelling
place. While he was making his way up in the corporate world,
I was doing the same in my mom and volunteer life. Even
before we married, we agreed on three children. My husband
Mark verbalized his desire to have these children by the time
he was thirty years old so that we could be young and free
empty nesters– this goal was just narrowly missed as our third
son entered the world a mere three days after Mark’s 30th
birthday. It all appeared very nice and tidy and American
As our sons got older and this mama wasn’t quite ready
to retire from my job and the identity it provided, my internal
adoption heartbeat picked up the pace. Through the years, we
have often been asked the question, “Why did you adopt?”
After a lot of therapy and mindfulness and meditation before
God, I now respond, “Do you want the practical, emotional,
or spiritual answer to that question?”
Practical I wasn’t ready to give up and retire from the
main career path I had followed. The demands of my
husband’s chosen occupation were high and being mom was
something that I enjoyed and could mesh with his job.
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