Thankfully, there is a redemptive message on the
matter of healthy emotional development. If we realize that we
have struggles in this area, there is something that we can work
toward - it is a place of grace called “earned or evolved secure
attachment.”16 In other words, our emotional health can shift.
We can experience life believing that we are worthy of love as
well as learn to trust the love of those with whom we are
intimately connected. We can change. Our brokenness can be
redeemed.
It seems paradoxical that a place of grace involves
earning something. But once I made a commitment to take
action and make changes, grace showed up. As I opened up to
mental health supports as an individual and as a mom, this area
of my life began to heal. Practicing yoga, mindfulness, and
meditation also played a key role in these shifts. I learned to
identify and sit with various feelings. I began to understand
that my strong emotions would not overwhelm me. I grew in
the ability to tolerate and empathize with the emotions of
others.
I started to share my insecurities with my husband as
well as get curious about what he was thinking and feeling. In
earlier days, I often acted as if I could read his mind as I
assigned motives and thoughts to him through my own filter.
I found out that most of the time, I was a terrible mind reader!
I began to ask my husband and children to help with
all of the many tasks required to manage a home and family.
When we get together in large family settings or vacations, we
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