176 • pearls around the neck
Author: Catherine Beeckman
English translation: Cynthia Jaramilo and Susan Surrat
Illustration: Tim Gallo
(or have not) on my plate!
Everything slips out of my grasp; I cannot depend even on myself. Is there not someone here? By the
way, will I at least know for myself what I need? Maybe not. Very well, then I do not need anything.
Yes, I suppose I do not need anything, and I do not need this food that gets cold on the table! You see,
this hunger becomes a language in itself that manifests itself and often transcends the linguistic capacity
of communicating. It is the body that communicates with its urgencies because there are no words,
there never have been.
I seriously took to psychoanalysis and the words spoken, heard, reformulated and structured have
nourished me. To identify the areas of shadows and to dare lift the veil with language has opened my
stomach. Verbs unleash the tongue, liquefy saliva, wet and moisten the mouth. But I am not safe and I
know it: this is a victory in itself.
If appetite is a desire, let’s keep in mind that desire itself manifests the lack of something.