44 pearls around the neck
Humor Column
Author: Catherine Beeckman, USA, 2009
English translator: Catherine Beeckman
Illustration: Catherine Beeckman
MIIIIIINE! &% $ # @ @!
Then, calmly, she approaches Emery and draws a huge mustache that stretches across his face. Maya,
the kitten, and Emery the tomcat, disappear together, holding hands. Emery is full of glory!
But not his mother.
She turns to me very curtly: “This is a Montessori school. Have you read the list of educational
materials we were given at the start of the school year? You’re not applying any of the principles? How
can I now explain this episode to Emery?
I move the phone away from my ear and look at her with the utmost worldly tenderness: “I understand
your frustration and the anger you must have buried and submerged in the depths of your guts, and I
feel sorry for you. I pity you. You see, Maya is my fifth child, so ... pfff...”
And I add in French: “Mal Baisée, perhaps”
I give Maya a kiss on the mouth and leave.
PS: My husband explained that “Mal Baisée” is translated as “sexually unfulfilled”… a touch uptight,
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