98 • pearls around the neck
lives are fulfilled. This is also important. We do not have the same schedule. When he comes
home, I am already in bed (giggles)…. So…
“My husband does not live here; his office is up North, three hours from Tokyo by
Shinkansen2. Many couples live like us. I am very proud of the position my husband holds
in the business world and we are able to live without depriving ourselves of anything. I don’t
32-year-old, Stay at home mother.
“After our engagement trip, we have returned to the pace of our previous lives. Our work
schedules do not match. I leave very early in the morning. At five, I am already in the
bathroom. My husband works for a multinational bank, he has a 45-minutes train commute,
but the offices don’t open until 9:00. Then in the evening, he goes out with his colleagues.
Afterwards we are often... tired. I think we cohabit; we no longer are lovers.
28-years-old, employed at a luxury products store.
Sometimes I ask him if I am no longer pretty to him! If he’s not attracted to me. Sometimes, I
feel lonely. No, it’s not exactly like that. I do not feel wanted…I dress well, put on makeup to
go out with him, but…we’ve been living as siblings for three years now…”
29-year-old, fashion scriptwriter.
It is not worth reading an article that holds a sociological view if the reading does not come
accompanied by a moment of reflection…an instant of introspection.
Don’t you hear the same complaints?
Are your girlfriends truly happy?
Do they have sparks in their eyes?
After 5 years of marriage, is she still enthusiastic and sexually explosive, the friend who joins you
for a cup of coffee every once in a while?
Let’s be honest.
We don’t do much better standing alone.
There’s something symptomatic here. And although the problem seems more severe in Japan, it
rings a bell.
De-structured time schedules that are gaining speed, a spatial universe that is too complex and
vast to inhabit, to traverse in our daily lives, a personal hedonism that won’t stop growing and
that borders on narcissism, the explosion of recreational virtual media that consumes us, our
tendency to hyperactivity (HDHD), our multiple roles, blurry and contradictory…
Where do couples belong in this world?
And that overwhelming loneliness.