model and live a life of healthy emotional expression. Then,
the opportunity for attachment healing within myself and my
child is possible. This is true even as I interact with my grown
So many of the lessons that I learned in the school of
“Emotions 101” didn’t happen until my sons were practically
grown and gone from our home. Though many times I wished
for a do-over with them, obviously that is not possible. But
there are healing pathways within relationships, and it is never
too late to do my part to make amends. I agree with Maya
Angelou who said, “Do the best you can until you know better.
Then when you know better, do better.” Certainly, pieces of
my own emotional challenges passed onto my sons in one
form or another. I am not able to go back and re-parent them.
But I do have the opportunity to own my part in this area and
move forward in the light of such knowledge. The way forward
with each of my sons has looked different and unique to each
mother-son relationship.
Shortly after I read the paradigm shifting “What Am I
Feeling?” book, I ordered three copies with the intent to share
them with my boys if and when they became fathers. Recently,
through conversation and contemplation, I decided to go
ahead and address head-on my own deficiencies as their
mother by sending them a package. This package contained a
heartfelt letter expressing my feelings toward them, my
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