delighted in who I am becoming even though, and especially
when, I walk a path different from one that you, my parent,
might choose.” Does this mean that we will not correct, teach,
and pass along our values? No. But it does mean that we will
be attuned and in tune with who our children are at their very
core their soul and encourage them to become their truest
For me, fear is almost always one of the hurdles in the
way of accepting my children just as they are at any given time.
At times like these, I remember the words, “there is no fear in
love.” My children will walk paths and make decisions that
displease or deeply concern me. The less I try to control that
and the more that I can acknowledge the fear and make wide
the space inside of me for love and grace, the more effectively
I can be a mirror to them as they figure it all out. When the
fear and attempts to control are at bay, there is much more
room for joy and delight as we live life as family.
When we adopted our first daughter, our sons were a
senior and freshman in high school and a seventh grader smack
in the center of middle school. For a variety of reasons, we
always knew that we would prefer to adopt two children. There
was solid parental and family discussion and reasoning behind
this decision. But we were in quite a hurry. A mere thirteen
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