months later, we added a second daughter to our family. I have
absolutely no regrets that this spunky and incredible girl
entered our family. Our family needed this self-proclaimed
“grand finale.” We love her dearly. She has changed each one
of us for the better.
Yet, there was a price paid by our sons. They navigated
critical years without parents who had the time and energy to
regularly coach and come alongside. This was especially true
for our youngest son. During these days, a friend close to this
son said to me, “I think he feels ignored and is struggling since
you adopted the girls. He needs more attention.” I brushed it
off and felt defensive.
Recently, I publicly wrote something about our sons in
reference to their many summers spent on our neighborhood
swim and tennis teams. “Our boys were more of the coach’s
award type kids than MVP winners.” Our youngest boy, now
man, gently and privately sent me a message that he had in fact
won MVP in tennis twice during his high school years. I truly
have absolutely no recollection of that fact.
I responded to my son with honest words. “I was fairly
checked out during your high school years. I am sorry about
that.” After he offered forgiveness and a gracious
understanding that I was doing what I had to do during that
period of our family’s life, I responded, “I truly am sorry that
you paid a price though I know you are gracious and forgiving.
We can talk about this sometime…” Text messages aren’t the
best avenue for such intimate conversation.