children into their own nuclear family as well as sharing them
within each of our larger families-what a beautiful invitation.
With small children who sometimes struggle to
separate from mom and dad at night or when left in the care
of others, a blankie or well-loved stuffed animal often serve as
a transition object. When our daughter was distressed with the
adjustment to the kindergarten separation, we each wore a
special necklace or kept a carefully chosen rock in our pockets
to symbolize connection even in the midst of separation.
Marrying off a child requires a whole different level of
remaining connected while at the same time accepting and
making peace with healthy separation.
For my son’s soon to be mother-in-law, there was
magnified symbolism around the choosing and assembling of
this basket. At this point in time, Sybil had struggled with
illness for many years. The treatment options were
diminishing. At the time of her daughter’s wedding, she knew
deep in her heart that her days upon this earth were numbered.
I can only begin to imagine the depth and breadth of the
emotions she experienced during the wedding weekend of her
beloved daughter. Great joy was tinged with sorrow, grief, and
celebration, all co-mingled within a mother’s heart.
Sybil invited my daughters to help assemble this basket.
One chose to do so and the other decided to run around
outside and play soccer with her fast friend from New York.
Together, we placed a book of poetry, a bottle of champagne,
candles, and other carefully selected items into the basket. My
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