ENDING
I wish that the ministers and people I consulted early
in my questioning and doubting faith journey had been more
at home with nuance. All questions don’t need a definitive
answer. I wish I had more fully passed along this perspective
to our sons as they grew up. At this point in my journey, rather
than being focused on dogma and doctrine, I am most certain
that God’s work and ways are indeed full of mystery. Living
into this belief offers a great deal of grace for myself and
others. I have come to agree with Richard Rohr who says, “We
belong to a mystery far greater than our little selves and our
little time.”
Not so terribly long ago, I felt that I was personally
falling apart along with my family. Recently, I was standing and
pondering in a space that often invites reflection - our kitchen.
As I chopped vegetables, the internal challenge was to identify
two critical actions that had most shifted our family dynamic.
Among a longer list are changes such as a healthy dietary
commitment, exercise, yoga, meditation, reading books, and
various therapies. These decisions were part of a larger puzzle
- how to authentically move myself from a legalistic, fearful
faith practice to a perspective saturated with grace. It was only
after a complete breakdown of the promises made in my
religious tradition that I was willing to put aside fear, seek new
ways, and adopt grace above all. But for me, there are two
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