specific changes that top the list of “Wilson family life-giving
The first is my own personal acknowledgement of the
need for mental health support and then the pursuit of that.
Several therapists have played a priceless role in guiding me to
become my very best and true self. Pursuing this avenue was
not encouraged in my background nor valued by many of the
people who influenced my younger life. But it has certainly
made a tremendous difference. When I am healthy, those I am
in relationship are also healthier.
The second thing that came to mind is the decision for
my husband to slowly step away from the high demands of his
career and more fully partner at home and integrate into the
family demands. Our earlier bargains and beliefs were not
sufficient for the task of raising and supporting five children,
two who began their lives in difficult places. I am so very
grateful that in the midst of crisis we were able to begin taking
baby steps toward a healthier way of being family. We are still
very much along that pathway.
None of these shifts in my faith or family happened
overnight. They have required years of negotiation and work
and change. True shifting of mind and heart and action take a
great deal of mindful attention as well as plain hard work. I
echo poet E.E. Cummings’ words, “It takes courage to grow
up and turn out to be who you really are.”