full and mindful life as a human being is both complicated and
Do I believe that all children deserve to live and grow
up within a family? Yes. But I also must be mindful and realistic
about the pain, suffering, and sometimes dark side of extremely
complicated situations. Adoption is not always the answer nor
is it an action that covers over all the pain that has come before
Within the conservative Christian world, I sometimes
hear “God loves adoption.” Though I am a solid believer that
any life or journey or action can be redeemed, I do not believe
that God simply loves adoption. I imagine that the relay of loss
that is triggered at the beginning of any adoption story breaks
the heart of the divine. I do believe that adoption is sometimes
the best way forward in the midst of devastating circumstances.
There are three perspectives in each and every adoption
scenario - the child, the birth parent, and the adoptive parent.
All must be considered and given honor as life altering
decisions are made. There are no absolutes. I do believe in
beauty from ashes and the ever-present possibility of
redemption and hope.
As opposed to the overly tidy narrative of “God loves
adoption,” perhaps there is a more complex perspective. At the
core of the Christian faith is the story of God’s redeeming acts
toward humans. I do not believe that God rejoices when a
parent is unable to raise their child, no matter the reason. I
imagine that God is broken hearted when a child loses her
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