reunion of this Christian group. Several friends reported back
a poignant moment of humility and grace. This same man,
about twenty years later and softened by grief, came before
many of the young and impressionable hearts he had coerced.
He apologized. He was trill. He made amends. Resentment that
I felt toward him softened and melted away.
The journey to becoming trill with myself around the
subject of parenting is ongoing. I desire to live into that
Mother’s Day compliment, and I am making slow yet steady
progress. After my physical breakdown, and as I began to pick
up the pieces within our family and find a way forward, I
needed to be honest and real. It was time to put a magnifying
glass up to my role in the struggles happening in my family.
The areas requiring honest inspection were many. My list
included: the parenting roles my husband and I chose,
mothering choices, my emotional challenges, and how a
number of my personal decisions affected my children. In
order to move ahead, I had to own my part.
Much of the parenting advice floating around, and
certainly the ideas most proclaimed within evangelical
Christendom, address the how-to and specific formulas for
making a child’s behavior change and adapt to the parent’s
wishes. I have come across very little that puts the burden of
change upon the parent in order to have healthy family
interactions. Because my old go-to parenting formulas were