toward self-care, becoming fully human, and owning my part
within our family led to both physical and emotional healing
for myself as well as our family. On this deep matter of
attachment, there has been a slow and steady march toward
wholeness. It required looking at myself honestly, finding ways
to have a voice, and offering compassion to my family and
myself. For me, the most direct way to healing has been within
an ongoing supportive relationship with a therapist.
Thankfully, there is a redemptive message on the
matter of healthy emotional development. If we realize that we
have struggles in this area, there is something that we can work
toward - it is a place of grace called “earned or evolved secure
attachment.”17 In other words, our emotional health can shift.
We can experience life believing that we are worthy of love as
well as learn to trust the love of those with whom we are
intimately connected. We can change. Our brokenness can be
It seems paradoxical that a place of grace involves
earning something. But once I made a commitment to take
action and make changes, grace showed up. As I opened up to
mental health supports as an individual and as a mom, this area
of my life began to heal. Practicing yoga, mindfulness, and
meditation also played a key role in these shifts. I learned to
identify and sit with various feelings. I began to understand
that my strong emotions would not overwhelm me. I grew in
the ability to tolerate and empathize with the emotions of
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