needs, I was able to love my family freely without reservation.
The healthier I got, the healthier were those around me.
After a great deal of hard work and intention, I now
experience secure attachments with my husband as well as my
children. I feel both worthy of love as well as capable of
receiving the support and love that I need. I trust that those
that I am in intimate relationship with are willing and able to
love and help me. This has required a large mind and heart
transition that has happened over many years and with a great
deal of support and mindfulness. My attachment challenges
have been transformed. Because of this particular
transformation, I am now able to truly experience the
abundant life that I heard so much about in my religious
tradition. I now realize the gift of true freedom.
****
One autumn, on a beautiful, sunny, North Carolina
day, I sat on the front porch with my friend Donna. Somehow,
the conversation made its way around to the topic of
attachment and the family systems we had each experienced. I
paraphrase Donna’s words on that day: “If I admit that I have
challenges in developing trust and making emotional
connections in my most important relationships, then I am
admitting that there is something fundamentally deficient
about me.” Her words haunted and challenged me as they
pinged back and forth between heart and head. I took this
exchange to my therapist, and her wise response was, “To
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